Social Marketing EXPERT

Look, I’m not going to lie, I’m a social-marketing expert. All those friends on Facebook? I use them to get ahead and sell things. Followers on Twitter? Idiots, they’re just my segue into dollars in my pocket. Every time I click like on something on Facebook, it’s because I know that for each like I give, I’ll get at least a half like in return. Same goes for people on Twitter. For every person I follow, product I bash, message I @ reply, I am guaranteed at least a few followers.

Sure, it’s diminishing returns and empty relationships, but that’s not what it’s about! It’s about marketing man! Don’t you get it? The more people that see me participating on the social internet will only conclude know I am good at making money off of the internet. Think of how my social marketing expertise can help your company make dollars! Apply just a little bit of my strategy every day and your boss will be like, “wow, you’re really good at social marketing.” Return the favor, to yourself, and RT my tweet. I’m out.

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