If I were to define balance, it would probably be finding the right combination of what you do for self and what you do for others. There are very few people that can operate at either end of the spectrum. We, normal folks that is, have to find the right balance of the, “have-tos” and the “want-tos.” But how?

a roof over my head and sneakers on my feet.

When I first entered the working world, I got a piece of advice that stuck with me and I often quote, “You either do what you love regardless of the pay, or you do a job you may not like that affords you the ability to do what you love outside of work.” While I would like to tell everyone to do the former, just like in 8th grade, not everybody can be Michael Jordan. Most people are forced into the latter and it takes either high-tolerance to cope or a lot of drive to get into doing something you do love.

The “have-tos”

don’t make relaxing your every day.

Imagine if you could pick out what you would be doing with every single second of every day. Now imagine the opposite. These are the have-tos. It doesn’t mean that you dislike what is being asked of you, it’s just not exactly what you would choose given the choice. Today I had to write a proposal, fix some code, finish a presentation deck, and gather tax documents - I don’t dislike any of these things (well maybe the taxes thing, however that’s another story), but given the choice, I’d probably be on the mountain snowboarding. These are requirements in my life that allow me to put a roof over my head and sneakers on my feet.

What is it that you have to do every day?  Do you like it?

The “want-tos”

There aren’t a lot of pills more bitter than that one - getting ripped off sucks. 

Ask someone what they like to do and the expediency of the answer often says more than the answer itself. Generally speaking, people with passions trend toward “the want-tos,” naturally. Want-tos needs a more definitive explanation. For some, “I want to sit on my ass every day and watch TV” may be a perfectly viable answer. I would argue it’s not. It’s actually sloth, a sin. Being lazy should never be your passion, it will never lead to anything good. I’m not arguing against taking a break in your day to relax and enjoy some form of mindless entertainment - just don’t make relaxing your every day.

The key here is to be doing something that gets you excited and away from the things you have to do. TV is an escape, but it rarely excites, and often depresses. If you feel you do not have any passions - go out and seek new experiences, the world is full of tons of fun stuff. Remember, only the boring really get bored.

The Lucky Ones

Remember the Michael Jordan example from above? Well, there is a higher percentage of people doing what they love for a living than there are Michael Jordans in the world. What you want to do and what you have to do can merge into the same thing. It takes a lot of drive and extra work to make this happen, but in the end, it seems to be more rewarding. However, there are two risks associated with this option.

I wanted to post up on the couch and kill characters in videogames - not good.

Risk #1 - Burning Out - When you like what you are doing, you tend to do a lot of it. I found a passion early on in web development and the internet.  While I think the info addiction will always be there, the web development part I have had points of burnout. Before the ‘08 holiday season, I was tired of everything related to what I had to do and what I wanted to do. For the most part I wanted to post up on the couch and kill monsters in videogames - not good. The best thing to do to get away from burning out is to develop another set of passions that become your new “want-tos.” I like to play music, work in my yard, exercise, and snowboard - all of these things help me walk away from my work.

Remember, only the boring really get bored.

Risk #2 - Hating What You Once Loved - Often times there is something extremely contaminating about money - it can turn things dirty. I’ve heard a ton of stories of high school kids doing a little bit of web design and then getting ripped off by the people that hired them. There aren’t a lot of pills more bitter than that one - getting ripped off sucks. Being professional about what you do can stem that tide - don’t agree to doing something that isn’t fair, collect 50% of whatever up front, and always write it down.

Conclusion

While doing what you love or doing what you need to do to enable the ability to do what you love are both good goals - the former, I would argue, is the only true way to find balance for the majority of people. Only the most steady and disciplined can go to work 40 hours a week at a job they dislike and cope with it - the rest of us end up unhappy or resentful.  Take risks, work hard, develop interests away from what you have to do, and always have outlets. It can be done, it just takes perseverance. How do you find balance?

Note Two: Arms out is the ultimate passion power stance.

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